The day is finally upon us. I wake and instantaneously spring into action. My first task is to set brew the biggest, darkest pot of coffee one could possibly make, as this magic potion is necessary for such an occasion. For it will not be long until it is time for battle.
As the water surges through the filters to make my caffeinated liquid, I draw a shower in the water closet. I seize a clean towel and vigerously go through the motions. Finishing my tasks in record time, I swiftly grab ceramic goblet and fill it with my drink. Now it is time to apply my war paint.
First go the under eye stripes, most commonly seen modernly in NFL players. Instead of using black I use a white a shade lighter than my face. I don’t just let it lay there like the players do, I blend my in like camouflage. Then I apply the same to the rest of my face. I warm up my damp hair, so to not catch cold when beginning my journey and I head back to the kitchen, for a breakfast of champions.
The house cook fixes me a hearty meal fit for a warrior: eggs and toast. I refill my ceramic goblet with more dark drink. After the meal is devoured I give my complements to the chef, the best in the land, and start to put on my combat wear.
Once I am dressed I gather my weapons: pens, a notebook and a lighter for candles. I put them in my satchel and bid farewell to my canine beast, as it very well could be the last I see him. I walk with an air of confidence and mount my steel horse and make my way to the battle field.
It is always a battle when you are returning to work after a vacation.
This has two nice things working for it: the mock-heroic language suitable for grand undertakings and the suspense generated that we know you will resolve in your last sentence.
ReplyDeleteGood narrative trick, good narrative technique.
Remember the mock-heroic language the week we do 'alienation' you're wondering wtf I'm talking about--things like that!